“A million young poets, screaming out their words to a world full of people, just living to be heard”
John Mellencamp
You never know how you are going to impact someone. This one hit me in the feelers.
I love Jiu-Jitsu. I love that it forces me to learn and improve every single day. I love that it keeps me honest. I love the excitement that comes from preparing for competition. But the thing that I love the most are the relationships and friendships that it builds.
This young man made a post wishing me a happy birthday. No big deal except for what he said and the context behind it. I have known him since he was a smartass teenager. Being such a smartass, he reminded me of someone that was a similar smartass teenager. And we became friends. He always came to me for advice and I would give it to him. No big deal except that he listened and followed many of my words. I saw him grow into a man and watched his character develop. It took some time but that character developed much more than I ever expected. I saw him become a father and a husband and even had the opportunity to teach his oldest child. He came a very long way from when I met him including going to school, building a career, buying a home and even getting a Harley. I was quietly very proud.
When he posted the birthday wish, it made my eyes secrete some type of watery substance. It reminded me that as Jiu-Jitsu instructors we are always affecting others and a certain responsibility comes with that.
Sadly I see the BJJ community evolving and becoming more ego-driven. I see “instructors” teaching just to feed their own ego. They talk incessantly about themselves and what they can do, not at all focussing on the importance of their students progress. I see gym owners prioritizing business “systems” over the importance of the impact they have on students. Sadly most of the processes they are learning are from “marketing gurus” regurgitating what they learned in an MLM conference or something they heard on a podcast.
Feeling disillusioned from the direction I see the Jiu-Jitsu world going - it was refreshing and a good reminder to receive this birthday wish. It reminded me that as individuals we cannot worry about what others are doing - but rather focus on what we can control which is how we affect people. So say a nice word to someone, take the time to provide advice when asked, help someone out. You never know what effect it will have 20 years later.
